Yesterday I felt amazing. I wrote a press release for my stuff and one of the three biggest internet media companies in the world called me up to do a potential partnership.

that is pretty fucking amazing for that only being the third press release I have ever wrote for anyone ever and me only having 1.5 years of any type of web design, marketing, or business experience (guess i have a bit more business experience if you count baseball cards selling in high school).

right now i am sitting here and my eyes are still wet because I almost seem like I can't feel good. its unnatural. I know part of the reason I feel horrible right now, but I have not done recently that would cause me to feel horrible and yet I do.

I think part of the reason I keep myself somewhat down frequently is that it is less of a fall when I fall. over time though that kinda makes ya really numb feeling. and then you feel happy knowing that eventually the floor falls out.

and for what.

i guess in the long run it is good because it takes away the numbness, but i would feel better if there was a comprehendable reason behind it...then again maybe that is the comprehendable reason. to let me know I am not a robot.

it sure is easy to feel like one. but i have the ability to make other people lots of money so thats good right...

at an extremely young age I lost all faith in humanity and kinda just expect that I will never get it back. but I am doing great...