This post could scroll six to thirty pages, but I will try not to let that happen.

I was in the navy and got my other than honorable discharge right around thanksgiving the year before last.

When I was in the navy I met a girl that I had a super duper crush on. she was fun, entertaining, smart, cute, etc. generally awesome and for the longest time (and perhaps for a long time going forward) she will likely be the girl I usually compare all other girls to. If for no other reason than the fact that she was the first girl I really really had a crush on. Her name is Erica.

Today I just got a forwarded letter that was sent to my old address. It was sent from a girl in navy named Erica. This girl is the same girl who sent me a similar letter about a year ago. This is not the same Erica I spoke of above. The current letter reads as follows...

July 14, 2004

AARON WALL
5209 OLD POST RD
CHARLESTOWN RI 02813

Dear Aaron:
Your technical skill, learned in the military, is currently in short supply. We are in need of former military personnel in your job field to fill jobs immediately in the Naval Reserve.

We have a saying in the Naval Reserve, "Make your experience count." This is a prime time for you to do just that. You have a skill that we need and here's an opportunity to put it to good use.

Why not give me a call at +1 (401) 941-2550, or drop by the office anytime! Call collect if needed.

Sincerely,
Erica
NC1 Erica L. Zecher
Naval Reserve Recruiter
+1 (401) 94102550
d5r09302@cnrrc.nola.navy.mil

The Naval reserve uses commercial mailing lists in its recruiting efforts. Such lists may contain errors which cannot be identified before we mail. If you should not have received this letter please accept our apologies. Perhaps you could pass this information on to someone who might be interested in Navy Reserve opportunities.

There are a bunch of funny things about this letter we shall analyze. First of all we will grab the low hanging fruit.

• The letter said "do not forward" and they did.
• I was kicked out for drugs and am fairly certain they would not want me in their system. I obviously would not want to be in their system.
• To the best of my knowledge there is no reservist nuclear navy. Obviously there is no need for persons of my skill set.

"Your technical skill, learned in the military, is currently in short supply."
Indeed it should be. That lifestyle was complete fucking hell. The only place where I have ever found myself in my lifespan where I was crying myself to sleep for weeks to months at a time. In addition you can tell what great lengths they go to to make this letter spam. Notice they never state what my rate or skill was, just that I learned it in the military.

"We are in need of former military personnel in your job field to fill jobs immediately in the Naval Reserve."
Since my job does not exist in the reserves this is a lie, but beyond that they would have a much better retention rate if they did not treat their people like shit.

"We have a saying in the Naval Reserve, "Make your experience count.""
And I did. That is why I created New Navy.US.

"This is a prime time for you to do just that."
And that is why I am typing this blog post.

"You have a skill that we need and here's an opportunity to put it to good use."
I agree, more people should speak honestly and openly about the navy.

"Why not give me a call at +1 (401) 941-2550, or drop by the office anytime!"
Your organization has been the single worst part of my memory. I should be dead now because it almost ate my will to live.

"Call collect if needed."
I just may do that.

"The Naval reserve uses commercial mailing lists in its recruiting efforts. Such lists may contain errors which cannot be identified before we mail. If you should not have received this letter please accept our apologies. Perhaps you could pass this information on to someone who might be interested in Navy Reserve opportunities."
I did my best to pass your message on.

Now here is the psychotic part of this post. The original Erica was the person I looked forward to seeing most for like close to a year of my naval "career." I liked her a ton but I still had a few years left in the navy and just prior to meeting me she got screwed over by some other guy in the navy.

I also do not know what I did with my manorisms and actions but she thought of me as a real gentleman. Reflecting back on how much I liked her and the fact that we never ...awe nevermind...it just goes to show how crazy I am.

I am super non agressive and she did not want me hurting her by going away and so we both were somewhat intentionally defensively non attached to one another.

After I went away on a med run she met some other guy who later got her pregnant and then he joined the navy and moved to the other side of the country and screwed her over.

There is obviously some real irony there.

Now here is where the super psychotic part of this post comes into play. Earlier today this same Erica called me for the first time since I moved. We talked for a little while and she told me she is going to join the navy reserves (which obviously is a big thumbs down to me). What is even weirder is that her recruiter is the same Erica that sent me that letter I just got.

Now the Erica that I like was in NYC on September 11th and had taken amazing photographs of what happened that day. Based on the sounds I later heard and the vividness of some of her pictures I am sure being there would have cut some scars in my mind.

I told Erica though that I could not support our current wars in any way and that in all reality our current wars had nothing to do with that tragic event she saw. She said "I know." And I also said that there is no such thing as a passive supporter and by joining she was becomming an active supporter of the current wars.

I also asked if she saw Farenheight 911 and she said no and that she hated Moore. I asked her why and at first she said "I don't know" and later said that she did not like the roles he plays in movies.

He really doesn't play roles other than guy on the street smart ass investigator of alternative media heavily biased against big corporate bullshit and false blank ideals which are currently destroying our country.

The "character" Moore plays in his movie roles is extremely similar to the "character" I play in real life. I am not certain why she could dislike him so much and like me so much, but maybe there is a logical reason we parted ways?

Maybe she will be a better fit in the navy than I. and to her I wish luck...

I think I may want some french fries from McDonalds...