August 28, 2004

What is Normal?

I just got off the phone with my brother. He and I are on polar opposite poles when it comes to our level of trust of other people.

I think most people are selfish scumbags without social conscience. I therefore use the power of this computer and this network to shield myself from the horrors and flaws of humanity.

My brother has a tendancy to leave himself a bit too far open and tends to trust people too much. And obviously he gets more raw deals than I do...but he experiences more human connection.

Neither of us are "normal" in that aspect and both of us would be a bit better off if we were a bit more like the other in this particular aspect.

Hundreds of people each day search for the phrase "normal"...at least the Overture search term suggestion tool tells me this. Not sure what they hope to find, but if I pointed enough links at this post they would find it...internet marketing is evil...and yet fun...certainly a fun medium for a person with passive aggressive disorder like me...certainly not something that is normal though.

Some people look for specific normal things

normal blood pressure...255/day...you are too unhealthy, try these pills
normal blood sugar level...89.6/day...you snack too much, try these pills
normal cholesterol level...83.5/day...you have too much fat in your blood, try these pills
normal illinois...68.5/day...I lived near there for a while
normal penis size...59.8/day...you're too small, try these growth pills
normal weight...35.5/day... you're too fat, try these pills to thin down
normal iq...27.7/day...you're so stupid you do not even know what a normal IQ is...you must be dumb...iq should be standardized to 100 though...try these pills to make you smarter
normal like you...21.2/day...a band, a marketing angle...we are hip, we are not posers...be cool like us
its perfectly normal...17.8/day...sex guide for kids...it's not gross (although we will tell you that it is in a few years)
para normal...17.7/day...there is something out there man...something more important than you
normal sex...16.1/day...not that way silly, that's all wrong...don't you know how to do anything...you're not lasting long enough...try these pills
normal vaginal discharge...15.8/day...you are gross...these pills should help you out
normal sperm count...15.7/day...you are inadequate...try these pills to boost your count
normal girl...15.6/day...not like the ones you know, and you are not one
normal life...14.2/day...you certainly do not live one
normal testosterone level...13.3/day...you are an arrogent idiot...try these pills to control your level
dog normal temperature...12.2/day...99 °F to 102.5 °F
normal white blood cell count...12.0/day...4,500-10,000 white blood cells/mcl
standard normal distribution...10.8/day...math is cool...you must be dumb to not undertand it
normal bowel movement...10.6/day...it is not normal to spend half of the day on the toilet filth...but there is no reason to hold it for a week at a time...you are gross...try these pills to get regular
normal hair loss...10.1/day...bald AND stupid...try these pills to stop hair loss
normal skin...9.8/day...you sure are fleshy...try these pills to fix that thing on your arm
normal weight for height...7.9/day...you are too short or too fat...these pills will help you get in shape
normal vital sign...7.6/day...you are not really alive...crack open these pills and snort them, they will make you feel alive!!!!!!!!!!!
normal iron level...7.5/day...eat some more spinach...your diet sucks...these pills can also help you
normal estrogen level...7.5/day...why are you so b.tchy...these pills will smooth out your peaks
normal body temp...7.4/day...37 °C
normal breast...7.3/day...that is too small, and misshaped to boot!...gross...these pills will help you grow
normal creatinine level...7.1/day...you are so weak...you will never be buff...these pills will make you ripped
picture of a normal vagina...6.9/day...you will never see one in real life...these pills will improve your confidence and improve your chances though
normal menstrual cycle...6.7/day...can't believe she is sooo moody :(
normal wear and tear...6.7/day...wow you really just messed that up


the whole point of normal is to tell you that you are inadequate.

most of the people selling you pills to make you better are driven by greed...most of those normal people do not normally care about helping you.

Posted at August 28, 2004 4:06 AM
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