Social Life:
Signed up for an affiliate program tonight. The person quickly answered back even though they did not need to. Sad that we are both on the computer at about midnight on a weekend night.

Financial Stability:
Would you risk your primary revenue stream helping a friend who usually only spoke to you when they wanted you to help them? I wouldn't. As noted by my recent actions.

Responsibility:
A well known internet marketer died yesterday. He was recently married. Prettymuch his company is his name and now he is not there. He died in a racing car wreck.

It leads me the question of unwritten social contracts. If many people rely upon you how much risk should you take in your life? How much stability should you have planned into your financial, social, physical, & mental health.

Certainly random bad things happen and you shouldn't just set your dreams aside because of business, but I am not sure I know where the best balance is.

Manipulating People:
In the past, when it was needed, I was really good at manipulating people. Getting pulled over while completely bombed going over 90 miles an hour without a ticket. etc etc etc

The more I look at marketing the more I realize most of it is manipulation. I could make bucket loads of cash, but settle for making far less than I could because I have some arbitrary morals or whatever that tell me marketing too hard is a bad thing.

And yet if you do not market hard enough someone else will steal your product or idea and market it better to marginalize your existance because they are greedier and more of a scumbag than you are.

Most people do not have anything original and compelling to add to the world, and with that most information and most ideas are in some way or another recycled.

Public Speaking & Social Weirdness:
I have not done any public speaking really. Even when I know everyone in a group I still act a bit quite - unless drunk, in which case I tend not to give a crap. Always bad to use alchohol or any other strong psychotropic drug as ANY cornerstone of your social interactions.

Not sure if I am disinterested in others or myself, or if I do not want to lose my solidarity. Am sorta afraid of doing bad, but am much much more afraid at quickly learning and then being able to manipulate people to get whatever I want out of them.

I am not a person of strong balance and find it hard to know where it is. With that thought in mind I don't want to be telling other people how to live or how to be successful or etc etc etc. In writing a book I sell I have sorta done that, but for some reason it doesn't feel the same way to me as being a talking head marketing guru type person would.

As I write my book over and over again it becomes a refined collection of thoughts and not just an off the cuff speech. I do realize that refinement makes some things worse. Poetry can lose its spontinaity. So can other types of writing.

I do tend to think most of the stuff I rewrite is better than the original, but then again, you don't see what you are missing and you can't read multiple hundred plus page books side by side similtaniously.

Yes, I know, I probably misspelled a few words in this post. I am tired, don't usually spell check, and am going for spontinaity here. Work with me...