So I have flown so many times that normally it is not a big deal. But sometimes when the planes hit choppy air internal chemical responses in by body go off bad.

I have been thinking of it alot, and why that effect hits me so hard sometimes. I sorta came to the conclusion that a large part of that comes from how wreckless I have lived. For like a year I drove without corrective vision when my vision was horifically bad.

Other times I would wear contact lenses on the submarine (exceptionally low atmophere quality) until the contacts would cause green stuff to ooze out of my eyes. I then would say fuck it, I am not going blind. Sometimes I would stand reactor operator with less than stellar vission.

Combine that vison with the fact that I was thought of as a person who knew well what he was doing when I was exceptionally clueless much of the time and it gets to be where it is a bit hard to trust other people doing some things. When I start to panic I view the pilots like I was when I was standing reactor operator. Potentially clueless and possibly in over their heads, with many other people hoping they are not.