So thinking about it I realize that most people who are wealthy are more wealthy than they deserve to be...ie: the game is rigged and most people above a certain threshold have more value than they created.

I am starting to create new content channels in a wide spectrum and feel weird knowing that in many cases I am absolutely creating no value with what I am doing. The shit I will be supporting will be people buying in on things that may not be worthwhile, but are sold as being pure and good by society in general.

Insurance: a necessity? Maybe. To some. But there is a company making money and paying employees. Obviously typically less is returned than brought in or the companies would cease to exist. But then what about the stock market? Generally, shady.

I guess at the end of the day people pay for happiness, they pay for the illusion of security, and they pay for dreams they will most likely never reach.

I have done really wasteful shit like hard drugs. I have also done really shameful shit like drive drunk. Right now I am still living a bit wrecklessly in that I am not taking care of my social physical or mental health, but typing feels good :)

I have put efforts into diversifying risk profiles and income streams, but I guess it doesn't really make me all that happy, and when I slightly modified some of the things I was doing on my site (say less negativity and writing at a lower level) my income prettymuch doubled.

There is a sucker in most every investment exchange and the best way to build value is to learn and share. Most things I have done that I thought were shortcuts really didn't save me much in the lines of time, energy, attention, or happiness. In fact most of them robbed those from me. I still think I am going to try my newest venture for no less than a few months just to so I am not stuck wondering what might have happened.

I really wish I could be more committed to some of the things I do, but it is hard knowingly polluting the world's information base after I am past self sustaining when there are people out there starving and having bombs dropped on them courtesy my tax dollars to the US government, which needs to keep defense stocks growing or it hurts the stupid fucking economy.

The things I have overspent on:

• my bed
  
• my chair - coming soon
  
• isolation (unfortunate regret will come in the near future no doubt)
  
• patterns and a fear of change
  
• not being willing to change my ways or worldview to prove I am right...and unfortunatly I seem to have enough drive to pull it off