reading
writing
working
learning
health
sanity

I find it hard to balance all of these things.

Recently I have been a bit defficient in the reading category...and perhaps the health one, and I have to do like 12 hours of writing and 30-40 hours of working in the next 2-3 days :(

I think I joke around to where people do not take me serious...I think I do that because life is easier if I am laughing. I don't like stuck containers. I think the concept of thinking outside the box is stupid. I just see no reason to need a box.

Perhaps the reason I work by myself and for myself and the reason I so hated the navy is just that we do what we are compatible with, what makes sense to us. I still reserve the right to think the navy is shitty, but a large part of the problem might have been my own angst and lack of ability to "do what I am told."

That does not work well for me...

I just read yet another great little piece from Malcolm Gladwell about how star emplyoment systems do not work (they reenforce ignorance & arrogence and create leaders who do not take resposiblity for their actions - like Bush).

Perhaps I did not think I belonged in a system with someone such as Bush at the top with a person like me doing exactly what I am told.

Not saying that I am a star employee, but given the chance to do well I do, and I do know that I am one who needs room to breathe. The submarine did not do that for me.

Different people can say different things and get different outcomes based upon their own intrinsic values. Things that define their persona.

I think my thoughts often fall in line with Seth Godin's about many things. He tends to be better at pushing himself though. I write a sales letter that I know only converts half as well as it could because I do not want to sell stuff to people...because like it or not, in the competitive marketplace you can't make another person be driven enough to succeed, and I want everyone who reads my ebook to do well.

The problem is I don't know how to define well.

If my income continues to increase how it has been I could probably make over a quarter million dollars next year, 100% honestly too. Coming from near bankruptcy with no marketing or business or web knowledge less than two years ago that is rather decend IMHO. But so what. Money doesn't make one happy.

I even sometimes miss the dire deep depression and the motivation and altered lines of thinking it forced / created / allowed.

I guess my point is that despite tons of positive reviews I usually feel like there is something more I could and should do. For some reason I like to feel inadequate...in a big way.

A while ago I was looking at a moving site. A while later Seth was looking at a moving site. He talks about how stupid the selfish marketer is and so do I.

I just am uncertain as to if I would ever want "a following" and am not sure how I would handle that.

Not too long ago a guy emailed me about how powerful my other blog is and I kinda shyed away from the idea.

Lets say you have ideas and people want to listen to them. What makes you right? Enron was great. Our justice system that let Ken Lay put that many people on the street is great. Our government that deregulated power until California elected Arnold is wonderful (by the way I still have the official Girly Man poster that was all over the news).

I do not know if I know the right solutions, and spotting problems without knowing the solutions is useless. Of course when things are wrong it is always worth a shot at change.

And while I am unsure of the purpose of this post I know I can eat my artificially colored and flavored Vitamin C absorbic acid vitamins as a snack.

Check in mail
cash to spend
oops it is gone, wrong kind

learn and teach
under the lights
under the breeze

teach me about society
money you
money money me

now I pay
for the paper to learn
to learn the paper is nothing

money is special
like government
special like god

pay the bills
and for the beer
I poured my drink... in my ear

I'm not drunk
shut your face
you gonna finsh that, or let it waste?

-----

he he, I got a link, my blog must be funny

Voter Suppression
is somebody ripping up your voter registration?
sponsored / funded by the RNC

Swing State Voters:
If you are voting for Nader or some other third party canidate pair your vote. I am running AdWords ads for that site in swing states.

Politics & Shareholder Value:
Sinclair Broadcasting recently lost a good bit of shareholder value for airing a Kerry smear show...wonder what my political opinions cost me...certainly not enough to quiet me :)

pretty
ugly
pretty ugly
when beauty is only skin deep

pixelated
but appreciated
by those who read
the things typed on my screen

they took a grinder
to my teeth
and my jaw
nearly stopped popping

I killed the sugar
but still eat junk
inactivity feeds me
but activity makes me happy

electrons are life
but only if we feel
them in an
array of ways
and help others feel them
in new ways

but when you don't see
how can you know
when you don't trust what you read
how can you know
when you don't trust what you write
how can you know
when you can't hear
how can you know

I just blew my nose and blew out some brownish spongelike stuff...and a huge gob of it. have no idea what it is...but it is gross.

I have been able to smell really good all day though...

Though I can't see the faces I am listening to the second presidential debate.

How Google is an Efficient Portal
I wanted to see when the debate was. I looked at Google news and it was on the front page. I then searched for the debate on Google. The top ad was NPR coverage. Beautiful AdWords usage by NPR.

Conspiracy Theory
conspiracy theory...politicians are puppets? Is Bush Wired

Frames in the Speeches

Bushed use the marriage penalty frame.

Saw Kerry used the "Wouldn't we be better off if we had a president who had a plan to secure the peace before we rush off to war?" <--- beautiful.

Bush avoided the question about how we were going to get people abroad to like us.
Started talking about Reagan's principals and values.

Kerry talked about kids being killed in Iraq.

Bush took his own weakspot and made it sound strong by saying "that answer almost made me want to scowl."

I heard there are rumors on the internets. <--- makes the web sound not credible.

Kerry states: short rotations and stoploss = backdoor draft. also compares his actions to Regan. beautiful

Bush could not control himself and cut off the announcer...tell bla we are going alone <--- what a jackass. If I were Kerry I would have stated that during times of war we need a stable president.

Tax cut over homeland security. <--- kerry

war is a long long war...what a jackass. <--- bush

Awesome question...Mr President:
why have you blocked the importation of safer drugs from Canada that would cut 40 - 60% of costs?

Kerry called Bush out for lying for blocking that type of bill.

Another fun framing...Kerry sated that Bush added more debt to the national debt than George Washington to Regan. The time frame concept inaccurately accounts for the growth of value in currency and ignores the fact that Regan bombed the economy with his spending.

Can't believe that Kerry said he supports tort reform <--- bogus shit there.

compasionate conservative ... what does that mean
cutting (I forgot the number) of kids school stuff
running up the biggest deficit in the history of the country
mr president you are 0 for 2...to relate something to baseball makes it american and to bat 0 for 2 makes it bad.

another good question from the audience "You have not vetoed a single spending bill from congress."

He cut taxes during a war. Rosevelt, Truman, those before him knew how to lead.

refund check to Enron ... wrong priorities.

Kerry stated John McCain...energy bill the no lobbiest left behind act... nice

Bush stated they did not name Kerry the most liberal because he did not show up (slid that in there), but because he has voted to raise taxes.

Bush said:
healthy forrests & clean air acts <--- names are the opposite of what they do.
common sense policy <--- means we do not need expert

Kerry: (reframing)
labels don't mean anything. talks about Orwellian names of clean air act. and stated that the EPA leader for air quality for Bush resigned and protested. talks about no child left behind leaves lots of children behind.

Kerry said..."when you talk about waffling"
and then started articulately stating how Bush previous statement walked a shady line.

bush used the partial birth abortion statement

Keep up with the Polls...
Electoral Vote <-- this guy is a smart muther fucker. he is going to have a powerful role in the remaining future elections in his lifetime.

More Coverage:
The type of stuff I type does not matter that much here because few people will read it. Many of the amazing political bloggers will not directly matter a ton since their bias will predefine their audience. It is hard to get the messages specifically to undecided voters.

By the end of the campaign I was not paying a ton of attention...the web is so interactive and I am so used to node jumping that 1.5 hrs straight of just sucking in media spewed at me is hard...I even usually fall asleep at movies now.

I sometimes am good at focusing in on small points and sometimes at focusing on the big picture. It is exceptionally important to be creative, have a good sense of pattern recognition, and to be able to find sources which interest you, and to be able to spread those messages.

I meant to type another chunk of text here but am too tired.

I am getting kinda tired, but here is some recent interesting debate and other coverage:

Talking Points Memo

Atrios

at the debate the only mistake Bush could identify when asked to identify three were a snide remark about some of the appointments he has made. Perhaps he should look at his resume. see him in action or view past mixed messages.

This just in: Iraq does not equal Al Queda
Rumsfield states Al Queda - Iraq connection was simply untrue. Interesting to watch the War Pigs slowly slip away from their past bogus statements.

Go Illinois!!!!!!!!!
I am not a fan of huge greedy drug companies, and it is about time we start making it legal to bypass their monopolies.

I can hate too ;-)

Conservative Values: Fuck Everyone! (keep in mind that abortion is inherently evil...)

Watch out...for September 11^th

Fox News is Garbage...again

Bush: his hometown newspaper thinks he is a piece of shit (and they endorse Kerry)

Kerry is the better man

Because he is stupid: notes

When in doubt: fuck em over...

Bush is a piece of shit: even 17% of repulicans think so...

Iraq: fucked up

Flip Flop: yet again, Bush is a piece of shit

Once more: Bush is a misguided... piece of shit

Diebold, like Bush... as a company, is a piece of shit

I have been getting a bunch more of the hate recently. After the first hate site went up about a week ago three more have came up too. And I got a bunch of hate (maybe not hate but at least non positive) ads running for my name and whatnot too.

It's kind of funny how bad some people suck. All I can think is:

• Whatever; and
  
• Grow Up.

Starting to hear a bunch more of that recently...but perhaps my definition of the phrase is different than most who use it?

I mean a girl who I liked a ton used that phrase recently on the phone...and all I could think was at times I felt the same way, but at times you made me feel like shit... I acted as if the phrase never left her lips...but what does that phrase actually mean?

How many people settle for people who kinda like them? Over half of marriages end in divorice, so I am a bit stingy with the phrase "I love you."

Perhaps so you would ask?

I like to wear self made fun tshirts or cartoon ones. Why? Because when I was younger the world made sense and I was really happy...even if it meant watching DuckTales all by myself...or some wonderful Hanna Barabara...

Currently the world does not seem that way...it seems as though "money" and "success" are way too important...and I don't know why.

So when I can think of a younger time, in a more pure place...I do. And people stop me on the street to say hi...so it almost feels like I know a bunch of people and am somewhat "normal" so I continue to wear playful tshirts that make me happy.

Feel free to stop me on the street and say hi ;)