The Motley Fool is just about everywhere when you look for financial information. They have built up a ton of trust with their work and their articles actually have the power to move the markets.

The day after they posted this article the company mentioned in it (IntegraMed INMD) increased in market capitalization by over 30%.

I know I do not on any level have that much influence, but it makes me wonder: if, what, and how much stuff occurs because of the random keys I may type.

he he he...

So tonight I went out with a friend who just passed all his finals...we went to a bar and listened to live music. The singer / guitar player played One by U2.

My friend told me the song was wrote about a son telling his father that he has HIV. In general, and on the whole, I prettymuch grew up without a father. My brothers father died from AIDS. My brother now has AIDS and seems to care little about life. Worse yet, my sister played a large part of the mother role in my life and now she is stuck in jail for a murder she did not do for fucking decades. While she is in jail for some bullshit she did not do she could lose both her father and brother to AIDS.

I was the young third wheel kid who for the most part did just about nothing wrong and had to fucking live through most types of mental hell growing up...and twenty dollars never said "I love you"...I would flush money down the toilet if it meant that I did not have to be emotionally numb to want to live.

And then the navy made it all worse. When the navy went out of its way to fuck me as much as they could I took that as inspiration to speak out against how fucked up the US navy is...and will do until the day I die or they unfuck their organization.

The problem is I can't undue the fucked up stuff that happened to my family in the past. Right now I am out of the navy and doing what one would term as "financially well," the problem is that negative motivation and isolation drove me to whatever success I have become...and the real problem is that I can not let go of those and probably never will.

Without social interactions life has no purpose and yet when in public I try to act bizare to ward off potential relationships of any sort.

What a fucked up world in which I live. A (as my friend and tests term me) "genius" who thinks of suicide many times each year. And I said to myself "what a wonderful world."

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should

One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers

Searching for a Job:
Mother Russia: are we soon to follow suit? And the sad thing is that it is probably right, and just about nobody cares. Disgusting.

Membrane potentials, action potentials, and neurons

Second in a series : How neurons transmit information

Mind Hacks

There are so many naturally occuring (and highly predictible) patterns in the world that would be interesting to track.

The US as a country is stupidly overmedicated. Between 1993 and 2003 the cost of prescription drugs in the US (in dollars) has quadrupled. Thats absurd.

What ever happened to those wonderful free market forces that protect the consumer? Apparently if you are sleeping with the government then competitive walls can be built rather high.

There are many beautiful things about psychotropic drugs that cure depression:

• They make drug companies tons of money.
  
• Government pays for a large part of the research and patents protect the profits.
  
• The enhanced serotonin levels create a background noise which sometimes makes it rather hard to think deeply or question things.
  
• Whether or not drug companies admit it, hundreds of people at different IP addresses have stated that the drugs are addictive and they can't get off them easily.
  
• At the end of the day the problem that caused your depression is still there. The drugs do not make it go away.
  
• People with diverted attention find it easy to fall under the poor me category. If the medication does not make them better then they are even more likely to become more apathetic.

At the end of the day you get simple minded apathetic people who make drug companies rich and are easily manipulated. What a wonderful world.

This post seems to be on about a recurring topic on this blog and may have no original content up to this point. Perhaps I am "spamming the search engines" with this rant...or maybe not.

What created the desire behind this post is the fact that it is not even 2am yet and I have already had mutliple comments on my depression blog today. And a bunch of them yesterday. You can tell that the season is changing because more people are searching and commenting about their problems with depression and drugs that are designed to threat it.

Its just another pattern I notice.

Certainly the network is growing (due to additional post and page creation and increasing link popularity) and will naturally spread itself out, but in the winter it seems to spread a bit faster than in the summer.

Being a marketer...and more specifically a "socially active on the web" one who tries to do a bit of reverse engineering of information systems you get to pick up on lots and lots of interesting patterns.

Lots of patterns frustrate me or make me sad, but at least I can recognize a few of them...

I can rank for most any query in the world. the world largest information agents are convinced that I am an autoritative figure on any topic which I type about.

It would be easy to misuse that power. do I? I am not sure. I intend to learn before I teach, but more than once in my life I have got ahead of myself.

I have a warped sense of reality. The bots sometimes think I am important, but am I? If so why?

Lots of media is controlled by financial partnerships and profitable business models. I am horrible if I let profit get in the way in my opinion, yet I may be bankrupt if I do not...balance in a competitive worldwide market is something that is often hard to reach.

I heard you dig me like a shovel...
Your mood ring is purple. Perfect, I am horney too...
I used to think your mother was the most beautiful woman in the world until I looked in your eyes.

What are your favorite pickup lines?

even discussing that some people may be gay makes you a bad person. - Viacom